The world has been a bit crazy in the past few months and I suppose that many of us feel restless and on edge. There are many things that worry us, including the health of our loved ones (and our own), financial matters, child care, elderly care, impact on our communities and economy, etc. Some of us are even guilty of constantly watching the news and wondering “What next?”, others cannot be bothered with news. Wherever you find yourself, please stop for a second if you are reading this blog post, and allow yourself the time to just be for a minute, or two, or five.
I do not have all the answers you might be seeking. I am just a human who has gone through so much since young age, and has learned that sometimes the best you can do in a situation is to let go of the fear clouding your mind, take a deep breath and just be.
I have two quotes for you that I want to use as a starting point:
“We don’t realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
and,
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
There is a reason why it is called “inner” peace. Peace is not something external. It is personal and unique to each one of us. My peace is different to yours. Different things make us happy, content and centred. So, I guess step one on our journey to finding inner peace is realising what makes you “happy, content and centred” or if those are the feeling you are after in order to feel at peace.
At the beginning of my last year at uni, I was going through a difficult situation and my mind was going 100 mph – I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, my focus was completely gone. I was struggling to function… and this is when it happened. This is when I received my first moment of clarity and inner peace in a long, long time. I remember it so clearly in my head – the scents, the feelings, the colours… It was early autumn and I was rushing home after a hospital appointment. I needed to get home, so I could go for a lecture, and as always, I was running late. I was stressed, I was anxious, I was operating on autopilot, and the worst of all – it was raining.
At that moment I hated the rain so much… my umbrella kept turning and on one such occasion I just broke. I was close to tears, I wanted to cry so bad. I just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, umbrella turned from the wind, rain splashing all over me, tears bubbling behind my eyes. I felt so lost. I don’t ever remember what snapped me out of my head. All I know is one moment I was 10,000 feet under, the next – I took a deep breath and I had a look around me. I saw the beautiful autumn colours on the trees, I felt the raindrops on my skin, the next few breaths I took felt like the sweetest air in my lungs… I just started laughing. Right there, in the middle of the sidewalk, like a complete psycho. And I felt joy, for the first time in a long time, I felt pure joy.
What is the lesson here you might ask… sometimes, when we are snowed under the weight of the world, we forget the beauty that surrounds us. Things are not always pitch black… there are so many shades, colours, variations, options… there is always hope and there is always a way even when it doesn’t seem that way.
Sometimes all we need is a moment, an action, one single point in time to snap us out of a funk. I used mine to get all those feelings and worries out. I spoke with my family, my closest friends, with myself. I admitted to myself what has gone wrong. I sat down and wrote in my diary for hours until everything I have kept hidden within came out on those pages, until I was calm and mindful of my surroundings. Sleep came back, focus and clarity came back, but most importantly – I was back. I was my quirky, caring, loving self again.
So, Step 1 in finding your inner peace – learn about your emotions. Get them all out (talk to someone, write it down, meditate). Which emotions do you want to feel? Which ground you in the present moment? Which make you feel like “you” the most?
Step 2 – Now that you have named your emotions and your have your inner peace formula, what makes you experience each and every emotion? Go back in time, and think of an occasion when those emotions were shinning the brightest. What can you learn from those times? Can you replicate any of them? Is it a place, a person, something you did?
Step 3 – You have your emotions, you know what you have done in the past to feel them. What can you do now? Is the situation you are currently in nurturing to those emotions? Do you need to change anything about your lifestyle to accommodate the version of yourself you are working towards?
Step 4 – How realistic is everything on your to do list? You don’t want to overwhelm yourself. For some of us, working towards inner peace includes hundreds of actions. What is the one thing you can do today to start on your path? Remember, my dear, one step at a time. This is not a sprint but a marathon – why? – just because you think specific actions will bring you happiness, that is not always the case. Sometimes along the journey we find a better way. My point is – be flexible, be open-minded and be realistic. Do not close your eyes and chase happiness and inner peace blindly. Search in a mindful way. Appreciate everything around you – the good, the bad, the so so. It is often the “so so” that gives us the greatest insight into who we are and what we need.
Step 5 – Mindfulness and community. Although this is our personal journey, we should not forget about the people around us. Bring the people you love along for the ride. Do not alienate yourself. As mentioned in Step 4 – appreciate everything and everyone around you. Tell your loved ones your story, tell them what you want to achieve, tell them your worries and fears. Open communication met with no judgement but support is a rare and beautiful thing, and no one said you cannot have that. It might take a little practice but it is achievable. Let go of fear, be present in the moment and in your relationships, see where that leads you.
I am no expert on inner peace. I am on a journey just like all of you. Those steps are just a simple example of what I have seen to work over the years for myself and my loved ones. If you have anything you want to add or a different way to look at things, please let me know. I hope this has helped someone even a little bit.
Stay safe and stay mindful of your emotions.
See you soon, little warrior.
the eKat journey 